dearest everyone, my sweet bill died on monday night, december 12 about 11pm. callie, his daughter and i were here. it is a terrible tragedy and a soul crushing story. bill and i had known each other for 50 years, since i was 24 and he was 31, working at the city of norman. bill, and my then boyfriend glenn, and i were best friends because we were the outliers among a bunch of conservative white guys working it city government. ha! bill was an undercover hippie attorney, i was the only woman in management and glenn was african american. bill moved to the bay area. glenn and i visited him several times. bill got married. glenn and i moved to seattle and got married and we all stayed in touch. bill often came to seattle to visit us or to las vegas when we were there for one year. the boys mostly watched sports and i cooked and fed them and we had good times, the three amigos. years later bill got divorced and years after that i got divorced. one night talking on the phone we discussed that we were maybe more than friends, and i went to the bay area and whadaya know. we were more than friends. that was in october 2002. we got married here at the house in shoreline, wa, just on the north edge of seattle, one year later to the day, october 2003. we have been crazy about each other ever since, joined at the hip, never a day without talking even when apart. we finally made another road trip to our beloved santa cruz for the month of june this year. we had been unable to go due to covid for two year. it was great, we had lots of sun and fun and good times there and in capitola. then in july callie and grandson giovanni came up from bend, or for bill’s 81st and had a wonderful visit. bill and gio went to hit a bucket of golfballs and the antique stores. so. we were in chelan, wa oct 10-14 this year celebrating our 19 and 20 anniversaries. at all the wineries staying in a cottage on the lake. wonderful time, tho bill often said he felt ‘wobbly,’ but after all was 81 and other than that, was fine. on october 17, the did a routine cat scan for another non serious issue (you guys know, the prostate thing :-) and one week later the doctor called to say there was metasticized cancer on the liver which had been CLEAR two months before. downhill from here. biopsy. attempted visit to oncologist, bill’s bp dropped and they rushed him to emergency and into hospital for three days. never found cause of low blood pressure. but three days later said the cancer was so widespread and the chemo would kill him. bill said NO more days in the hospital. ‘i want this to be the last night i spend in the hospital’ so hospice jumped in and we got him home by ambulance and into a bed in the tv room, so he could watch plenty of his wonderful msnbc, and there he had to stay, but he ate, watched the news, read the paper and michael cohen’s latest book. i would climb into bed with him at night and we watched ‘cheers’ for the third? time around and laughed and snuggled. he said he slept well and felt ok other than just being tired. and you know bill, and he kept his spirits up and my spirits up. tho we cried and talked and we knew what was coming. they told us he had a good chance of making it through christmas. they were wrong. he died 23 days after they told us to go home. he had been in a coma for five days, the hospice nurse saying he had trouble letting go cus he was still trying to make sure we were taken care of. to be honest, i am totally and completely devastated. so fast. and now gone forever. i feel my very soul is crushed. i know i will go on and i know that is what he wanted, we talked about it. he did not want a funeral, but a ‘get together’ here at the house like our pre covid christmas parties. so maybe in the spring or summer. he is being cremated and part of his ashes sent to okc to the bonnell crypt to be near his mother, where i will go also. and the rest of us will be spread at sea off the coast of santa cruz near his father’s former house on the beach near pleasure point. i expect that will be a while as i plan to keep him near me for a long time. thank you for you love and messages. my phone, text only please, i am not able to talk about this right now, is 206 427 3311. address is 1651 NE 185th street, shoreline wa 98155. sending my and bill’s love to you all. xoxo susan and beloved cats, babycakes, jellybean, pumpy and nunu who are missing their dad also.